Those new to fisting often seek advice for newbies on one of the forums online (Facebook or Asspig). To me, the most common advice provided is useless:
Breathe and use lots of lube!
Let’s start with the lube. While ‘lots of lube!’ is somewhat helpful, it doesn’t really provide the details necessary for those new to the sport. Most lubes on the market are not suitable for fisting. New guys don’t inherently know this and often attempt fisting with traditional water-based glycerine lubes (like Wet, Astroglide, etc.) or silicone lube.
My advice for lubrication is to seek out a versatile fister for your first few experiences and politely ask if he would be willing to provide the lube for your a few sessions until you figure out which lube is best for you. Note that this should be temporary. Sharing lube, or relying on others for lube, goes against most health protocols and fisting etiquette (see On the Road Again (Travel)); however, most guys are willing to help a new guy out for his first two or three sessions.
The additional advantage of hooking up with a versatile fister for your first few experiences is that your partner will know exactly what ‘copious amounts of lube’ means and will make sure your hole is properly saturated.
Your autonomic nervous system controls your natural breathing. You will breathe regardless of what your partner tells you. I’ve never seen any actual examples–nor heard of any anecdotes–of bottoms passing out due to lack of breath when fisting. The nearly ubiquitous advice given ‘to breathe’ is due to the awkward respiration patterns immediately after a fist pops into your hole.
I often compare this breathing advice to another piece of pointless advice:
Don’t think of Pink Elephants.
Once you’ve been told to not think of pink elephants, you will. What was not a problem is now a problem. Once you’ve been told to breathe, you will attempt to regulate a system that will self-regulate. Your forced efforts can hamper that regulation and make fisting more difficult because your breathing is forcing your body out of its homeostatic desires.
What your partner is really trying to say is ‘relax and center yourself’.
Focus on meditation instead. Think about your body and focus on the signals you are receiving from your brain.
On a final note, if you are hyperventilating (which is rare), breathe slower and deeper. If you are holding your breath, meditate.
Other Tips for First Fists
These are the pieces of advice I provide:
- Start practicing yoga. It will teach you how to meditate.
- Start a meditation practice daily for 5 to 10 minutes. When fisting, borrow that skill.
- Stretch your hole daily in the shower using the Big Ben method for a month straight.
- Forget about what you see in porn. There is no market for fisting titles such as ‘Meditate Through It’ and ‘Homeostatic Fisting’ – that shit is boring. Once you’ve mastered the basics, then you can try to imitate what you see in porn.