Assumptions of Inexperienced Tops

Ten Assumptions by Novice Tops that Affect a Fisting Session

If you have limited fisting experience, your first session as a top may result in a “Failure to Launch” if you harbor any of the following assumptions. You should adjust your mindset to ensure your first encounter won’t be your last.

  1. Assuming the top is in control of the session.
  2. Assuming that fisting is primarily a BDSM activity.
  3. Assuming anything about lube, but particularly application.
  4. Assuming a manicure is needed prior to fisting, or assuming a manicure is sufficient for fisting.
  5. Assuming the depiction of fisting in porn is anything close to the actual fisting experience.
  6. Assuming all holes and all bottoms are the same.
  7. Assuming the bottom knows what is happening inside and outside his hole.
  8. Assuming that minor details don’t matter.
  9. Assuming timing and synchronicity is irrelevant.
  10. Assuming fisting is a ‘cakewalk’ for the bottom and thus undervaluing his contribution, commitment, and efforts.

Assumption 01: The top controls the session.

This assumption is usually manifest by the choice of words used by inexperienced or virgin tops. Phrases such as ‘I know what I’m doing’, ‘This isn’t my first rodeo’, ‘No pain, no gain,’ ‘You are my play toy,’ and similar language are always red flags. Taking offense to any type of instruction or advice from the bottom is also an indicator that the top does not understand role dynamics in fisting.

The act of fisting is substantially more dangerous than fucking. Failure to follow basic etiquette, practices, and standards can render a bottom out of commission for months. If you, as a novice top, feel frustrated that your bottom is acting like the top, or that he refuses to offer his hole up for your gratification, then fisting isn’t for you.

The bottom is always in control, even in situations where he identifies as the submissive partner. Quite frankly, bottom and submissive are not synonymous in fisting.

Assumption 02: Fisting is a BDSM activity.

In a recent survey, less than five percent of participants identified fisting as a BDSM activity. When broken down into four categories: Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism, and None of the Above, less than 1% classified fisting as a sadomasochistic relationship. Bondage/Discipline and Dominance/Submission garnered less than 5% combined. In fact, the poll allowed respondents to choose more than one answer and 95% responded that fisting was ‘None of the Above.’

If you are approaching fisting as a form of extreme dynamics and tortuous behavior, you will be blackballed very early in your journey.

Assumption 03: Fucking and fisting lube practices are similar to each other.

First, throw almost everything you know about lube out the window. While you are at it, throw your lubes used for fucking ass along with it. From selection to application to reapplication to clean up, very few parallels to anal sex are applicable.

The most egregious error is using lube sparingly. Most fisting lubes go bad after a day or two, so there is no need to save it for another day. A dollop will not do. It IS NOT like applying hand lotion. In fact, once finished with your initial lube application, lube should be dripping your hand and his crack. Expect to use at least 125 ml or half a cup, if not more, during the session.

Other common errors include lack of frequent reapplication, ramping up intensity without adding lube, mixing lubes between bottoms, or ‘coating’ errors. Bottoms are picky about lubes: undercoating on either the hole or hand causes drag and pinching, failing to allow solid lubes to melt and absorb has a similar effect, spreading lube on every surface in the play area can be an irritant to the bottom or your host, and failing to clean up the bottom and the play area are rookie mistakes.

Remember to reapply often. If the bottom asks you for more lube, you’ve failed as a top.

Assumption 04: A manicure is needed prior to fisting and is sufficient for fisting.

A manicure will leave a few millimeters of the distal (far edge) of the nail intact. This allows you the ability to scratch and claw things as nature designed. For fisting, this is unacceptable. If you can open a soda can after prepping your nails, they are too long for hole play.

Trimming your nails as close as possible to the finger. File the top and side edges smooth after cutting. If you can feel them on your palm or your tongue, they are too sharp.

Pro-tip: If you want to make your bottom happier, apply lotion at least two hours prior to the start of the session. This will soften your hands and decrease drag when entering his hole.

Assumption 05: Fisting in porn is similar to actual, real-life fisting.

Very few bottoms can take a fist like it is done in porn. There are hours and hours of footage that never leaves the editing room floor. Those discarded scenes are the actual reality of fisting. They include things such as false starts, slow starts, bottoms providing instruction, warm up periods, breaks, poop, follow-up clean outs and bloopers.

Porn also divorces communication from fisting. Communication is sloppy and boring to watch on film but is an absolute necessity–-especially during your first session. If you aren’t talking with your bottom, asking questions, validating procedures and expressing your thoughts, concerns, and emotions, then fisting will never be an activity that others will enjoy with you as the top.

Assumption 06: All holes and all bottoms are the same.

They aren’t. While a majority of bottoms enjoy shallow play that may eventually culminate in punches, others do not. Some guys just want depth. Some want immediate punches. Some want dinner and a movie first. You won’t know unless you ask BEFORE the session gets underway.

Likewise, some holes have long warm up routines while others are zero-to-elbow in ninety seconds. Again, you won’t know unless you ask in advance. You can’t assume that the hole you are in will remotely resemble the next hole you dip your paw into.

It’s best to ask in advance if there are any tips or tricks to the bottom’s hole. It’s not a sign of weakness but a sign of good technique to do so.

Incidentally, most holes last less than an hour or two and need breaks throughout the session. Don’t force your bottom to demand a break. Ask how his hole is doing about every fifteen minutes and if it needs a break.

Assumption 07: The bottom knows exactly what is happening inside and outside his hole.

This is perhaps the most science-oriented part of this post. A bottom can feel your hand and wrist at the first ring using multiple senses and nerve receptors. This includes the soft and definitive touch receptors around the anal canal and temperature and pressure sensors inside the rectum. If you are near a bone or skeletal muscle, proprioceptors provide some feedback due to location and movement. Anything deeper provides limited sensation which is primarily due to pressure.

Within the rectum, a bottom cannot tell what position your hand is in, and when blindfolded and deprived of other senses, it may be difficult for him to tell how deep you are. The point is that you cannot assume he knows exactly what you are doing in his fist chute.

Perforations happen when narrow pointy things such as fingers catch the intestine in an unexpected way. Blunt objects, such as a closed fist and some toys, can also cause damage by tearing holes and tissue around rings or uncharted territory in the colon.

If you aren’t discussing with your bottom what your experience and technique is, you could really do some damage. Over time as you gain more experience, the need to be super explicit about what is happening inside your bottoms’ chutes will diminishes.

FYI: Your bottom may sense something is ‘off’, but without communication, he will not know what exactly what is wrong.

Assumption 08: Minor details don’t matter.

A key tip to a successful fisting is making sure the bottom is 100% comfortable. Temperature, lighting, position, cleanliness, scents, music, nails, banter, and attitude can make a big difference in the outcome of the session. Ignoring these details is a recipe for failure.

When you are consumed by other things, both of you are unable to get into the zone that is needed for a successful session.

Assumption 09: Timing and synchronicity are irrelevant.

Timing is critical. The hole dictates the pace of the session. Forcing entry before the bottom is ready will cause the hole to close up. Novice tops typically have not developed the ability to read the signals a hole provides to indicate it is hungry for something more. The bottom must identify these signals.

Once the hole is open, three mistakes are common: failing to take advantage of additional cues from the hole; failing to coordinate movement (whether it be with background music, respirations, or the sway of the sling), and missing the opportunities provided by popper-inhalation (you have a very limited window to take advantage of the effects of that drug).

You may think these mistakes seem trivial; however, your bottom will have limited patience once you receive instruction otherwise. Repeating these mistakes will hamper the productivity and pleasure of a session.

Assumption 10: All the bottom does is clean out; after which, it’s all pleasure for him.  

In order to play with you, your bottom modifies his diet. He subjects his hole to an often-tortuous clean-out routine. He inhales fumes that are hazardous to his health. He injects lube that may be full of carcinogens. He exposes his body to practices it wasn’t designed for. He dedicates time to teaching technique & etiquette. And, he exposes his hole to a potentially life-threatening incident should you fuck up.

Offer some respect and gratitude during your session. For starters, if you get shit on your hand, don’t have a shit fit. It will happen sooner or later as you continue on your fisting journey. Handle it with discretion. Also, if your bottom asks you to do something, do it, and do it immediately. Don’t wait in order to demonstrate your ability, skill, or dominance. Finally, clean him up and help him up after the session is over.

Keep these things in mind, as they are also disrespectful:

  • If you cancel within six hours of the session, you are a dick.
  • If you ghost your bottom, you are a prick.
  • If you fail to listen to your bottom, you are an ass.
  • If you fail to learn, your hand won’t see many other holes.


As a virgin or novice top, you should expect a lot of coaching and should not be afraid or embarrassed to ask questions. Trim your nails, be courteous, follow your bottom’s lead.

Fight Club and Fist Club Rules

In the cult classic movie from 1999, Fight Club, the protagonist/antagonist Tyler Durden (played by Brad Pitt), outlined the following eight rules:

  1. You do not talk about Fight Club.
  2. You DO NOT TALK about Fight Club.
  3. Someone yells stop, goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over.
  4. Only two guys to a fight.
  5. One fight at a time, fellas.
  6. No shirt, no shoes.
  7. Fights will go on as long as they have to.
  8. If this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.

Here is the actual scene from the movie.

If one were to parody these rules and this scene from Fight Club, I would propose the following:

  1. You do not talk about Fist Club.
    • Don’t out others as fisters to both fisters and non-fisters alike, unless you have explicit permission to do so.
    • Don’t make assumptions that your fisting playmates are out of the fisting closet.
    • Don’t talk about fisting when non-fisters or closed-minded normies are present.
    • Don’t reveal details about your fisting excursions and events without permission of participants.
    • Don’t discuss a partner’s proclivities with others, including fisters, unless authorized.
  2. You DO NOT TALK about Fist Club.
    • Use innuendo among normies to gage their willingness to participate in fisting.
    • Limit any discussion of others to circumstances where an individual may be at risk, including exposure to drugs, reckless playmates, manipulative or criminal behavior. It is the responsibility of the participants to vet their partners. It’s best to provide info only upon request.
  3. Once the bottom says ‘STOP’ or taps out, the session is over.
    • Never push a Bottom into doing more than he’s willing to do. Encouragement and boundary pushing are one thing; however, he must listen to his body to prevent injury.
    • It’s a generally accepted protocol that the bottom is the assertive partner. In fact, the term “topping from the bottom” is frequently used to indicate the fisting relationship.
  4. Respect the scene: three guys may be too much.
    • When in group play events, keep your distance from fisting pairs unless invited to enter their session. A third can break the connection between partners with unnecessary banter, touch, or uninvited tangos outside the bottom’s hole.
    • Fisting group play is often very casual, and participants that aren’t fisting may often be discussing non relevant things such as cat photos, movie stars, or recipes for spice bread. Be aware of how your talk and behavior affects others around you that are wrist deep into a scene.
  5. One hole at a time, fellas–avoid cross contamination.
    • Preventing the spread of Hep C and HIV is critical with fisting. By its very nature, fisting results in exposure to blood. It may not be visible, but there will be microscopic particles of blood and potential blood born pathogens on the top’s hand, the lube bottle, and even the sling or bench where fisting occurs. Keeping an encounter limited to a single hole decreases risk of transmission between bottoms.
    • Avoid sharing lube bottles and always wash hands between partners.
    • Learn lube techniques that allow you to keep lube separate when engaging in chariot fisting.
    • If multiple holes are sharing a single hand, toy, or dick in rapid succession without washing up between penetration, acquire consent from each bottom prior to the activity that will result in cross contamination.
  6. Keep it safe.
    • Tops should have well filed nails and smooth hands/arms that are free from open wounds or healing sores.
    • Bottoms should make a reasonable effort to be free of fecal material, unless shit fisting is on the menu. Even if shit fisting, bottoms should eliminate seeds and nuts from their diet 48 hours prior to play to avoid injury.
    • Consent is ALWAYS required if any type of substance is used, including lube additives to mind and body altering drugs/chems.
  7. Fisting goes on as long as it has to.
    • The bottom controls the duration of the session; his hole – his life.
    • Breaks allow recalibration, don’t be afraid to request or take them.
    • If there is no connection within the first few minutes, end it politely. Do not force it. Do not be a douche about it either. Realize that sometimes, the spark just isn’t there.
  8. Consent is key, regardless o f your skill set or how long you’ve been fisting.
    • Never feel obligated to bottom. A bad douching experience, an unwilling hole, personal issues outside of fisting, etc. affect the brain and nervous system that controls the fistchute.
    • Never feel obligated to top. Personal issues or lack of connection can limit the pleasure for you and your partner. No bottom is entitled to your hand just because you are at the same event as he is.
    • Forcing total bottoms to top is a bad idea. A guy that is consumed by his self-identification as a total bottom lacks the skill and mindset to fist safely as a top. Just don’t invite him to the party.

The Fisting Inquisition: Toys For Beginners


As a beginner, what toys are better for progress in stretching my hole? A tapered one or a butt plug, or maybe something else? I’m playing with a dick-type dildo currently but don’t feel I’m making progress. Any recommendations? I’m not ready for a fist yet.


There are many things left undefined in your question:

  • How often are you playing with toys currently?
  • How big are the dick-type toys that you use during play, specifically length and width?
  • How do you define beginner, other than, not ready for a fist yet?
  • When you refer to “stretching my hole,” do you mean wider or deeper?
  • Is your long term goal, depth, width, punch, or toy play?

Answers to those questions will determine the appropriate response; however, I’ll give you a basic opinion from my experience.

For reference, I played with toys for a couple of years prior to taking a fist. I wasn’t playing for the sake of learning how to fist but rather for the sake of enjoyment. I like individual toy play a lot. When I did take my first fist, it was to the lower forearm.

Anatomically, beginners need to start with toys that alter their fuck chute into a fist chute. There are two specific targets for this body transformation: the anal canal and the rectum. The anal canal consists of the external and internal sphincters that compose the first ring, as well as an inch and a half (4cm) of muscle and fatty tissue. The areas of concern inside the rectum include both the walls and folds (called Houston folds).

For the most part, dick-size dildos are ineffective for your goal. To prevent injury and hemorrhoids, a tapered toy is your best bet. There are tapered butt plugs and tapered dildos for you to choose from. I prefer the dildo over the butt plug, but it’s really a matter of preference. The circumference of this dildo needs to start at about six inches (15cm) and expand to eight inches (20cm). The base should be roughly the size of a soda can (eight inches). Due to its length, a dildo will provide a gradual stretch to the first ring, while a plug will cause more trauma to the ring because the taper is shorter. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but the short taper may be the cause for shorter sessions and practice periods.

A second advantage provided by a dildo over a plug is the folds inside the rectum. In some individuals, these folds may be extremely pronounced and create a small cavity that won’t accommodate a fist. In other men, these folds are not recognizable. A dildo will help with the dissolution of the prominence of these folds. A dildo will also trigger baroreceptors (pressure sensors) for the full length of your rectum. These sensors trigger expulsion reflexes and have to be conditioned to not fire when a fist has invaded the lower fistchute.

An advantage provided by plugs is the bother greater and extended conditioning of the receptors in the anal canal and lower rectum. The plug may be able to desensitize these receptors faster than a dildo if you can bear to keep the plug inside for longer periods of time.It is my personal opinion that the stem on most plugs is useless for traditional conditioning and that the real value of plugs is for punch conditioning of the first ring. Generally, the stem is too narrow to replicate the size and shape of a wrist, so the receptors in the anal canal receive little conditioning while the receptors in the lower rectum are triggered. Essentially, it just makes you feel like you need to have a bowel movement. The ‘Pop’ of the first ring caused by a short taper mimics punch fisting.

It is my personal opinion that the stem on most plugs is useless for traditional conditioning and that the real value of plugs is for punch conditioning of the first ring. Generally, the stem is too narrow to replicate the size and shape of a wrist, so the receptors in the anal canal receive little conditioning while the receptors in the lower rectum are triggered. Essentially, it just makes you feel like you need to have a bowel movement.

In light of my opinion, I would search for a plug that has a wider stem and a taper both at the top of the plug and at the bottom (where the plug and stem meet). I generally advise a trio of toys for your conditioning routine:

  • a warmup toy (to prevent tearing of muscles at rest)
  • a lengthy toy with moderate girth for stimulating all parts of the lower fist chute (anal canal, the lower rectum, and upper rectum), while also trailblazing and modifying your anatomy (decreasing the strength and tautness of the Houston folds)
  • an endurance toy of either length or girth that will help condition the receptors to fire less under pressure.

Please refer to upcoming videos on suggested ‘toy trios’ and routines for opening one’s hole.

Fisting Lube Etiquette & Practices


Sex is often best when messy, unorchestrated, and natural. After all, we are fist pigs! However, you should always get ongoing consent regarding all aspects of fisting. A skilled fister easily integrates this activity seamlessly into the session in order not to kill the mood.

Generally Accepted Behavior

There are a handful of rules governing lube during a session. As noted in the preface, there is some leeway here within these rules. Sex by the numbers is boring, restrictive, and a boner killer. However, implementing these rules need not hamper your session if done correctly:

  • Assume nothing!
  • Avoid sharing lube!
  • Keep it contained!
  • Use lube generously!
  • Bring your own!

Rule #1: Assume Nothing

Rule & Explanation

Do not assume anything about your fisting partner and play date.

This rule encompasses so many things. For example:

  • If you’ve seen him taking elbows, don’t assume he wants, or can take yours.
  • If you’ve seen him getting bred, don’t assume he takes all loads.
  • If he says he’s not into PNP or HNH, don’t assume it’s true.

The list goes on and on. When it gets to assumptions about lube, assume nothing. This includes whether he shares lube, what kind of lube works for him, and if he’s okay with abandoning lube protocols and going with the moment.

Seamless Implementation

In almost every session*, you have an opportunity to chat before the hand disappears into the hole. Integrate into your sexual banter basic lube talk.

“Should I bring my own lube?” is a simple text message that opens the door for understanding his protocols that won’t impede with the carnality of sex later on. If he says ‘No’, he’s likely not a stickler for lube rules. If you follow the general lube etiquette, you will need to make it clear before you start playing.

It’s a little ironic that a set of assumptions can be made by following a rule that insists on not making assumptions. To prevent any awkwardness, some additional questions are okay when starting out: ‘Did you have your own lube?’ ‘Which lube is yours?’ ‘My lube has clove and benzocaine cream in it, is that okay?’

*These things may not be possible at very large and very noisy fisting parties where it’s impossible to chat prior to play.

Rule #2: Avoid Sharing Lube

Rule & Explanation

To prevent harm to the bottom, do not share lube.

There are two reasons for this rule.

First and foremost, is the effort to prevent the spread of hepatitis, HPV, and herpes. Two of these diseases have no cure, and the other can be deadly and expensive to treat and manage. The nature of fisting lube often means that these organisms have an easier pathway of transmission.

Second, a bottom may be allergic to certain lubes or lube additives. I personally am allergic to polyethylene oxide (the base of J, K, and X-lubes), clove, and silicon. Clove burns my ass and closes my hole. PEO gives me hives, and silicon triggers swelling and cessation of bowel movements for two days.

Seamless Implementation

Provide your own lube and hand it over to the top at the beginning of your session. Nonchalantly express that your hole is particular to your own recipe and that you’ll get better results if you stick to your own lube.

If topping, ask ‘where’s your lube?’ If he doesn’t have his own, it can get awkward if there was no pre-planning involved. It may be a teachable moment while you split your lube into a disposable water bottle prior to playing. Hosts can clearly address this issue by including BYOL on invites or having a separate toxic bottle with no additives for sharing with those who came unprepared.

It’s not uncommon to see solid lubes and cream lubes made from lipids or mineral oils (Crisco, Aqueous Cream, etc.) at group play events. Clean hands and individual cups prevent contamination.

Rule #3: Keep it Contained

Rule & Explanation

Restrict lube to the play area, the lube container, and the desired hole.

This rule covers a three different problems: cleanliness, sanitation, and cross-contamination.

As mentioned previously, every bottom should have his own lube in his own container, including solid lubes. This prevents contamination and spread of bacteria, fungus, and microorganisms that cause disease, including STIs. Double-dipping is nasty–not only in sharing chips and salsa–but with a lube container.

For those who don’t speak English as their primary language, double-dipping is the act of dipping your food into a dip, taking a bite from it, then re-dipping again into the same (usually shared) container.

Cleanliness refers to respecting your host or others at an event. A big reason why future invites are not extended is that those fisting got lube everywhere. The doors, the walls, the windows, the floors, the ceilings, the mailbox, etc.

Finally, keeping it contained means washing your hands before a session, between bottoms, and after touching contaminated surfaces.

Seamless Implementation

Appropriate use of rags, paper towels, newspapers, and self-awareness can keep the mess down. And even though it may be impossible not to touch the poles or chains on slings, wipe up after yourself.

Since clean-up occurs at the end of a session, it doesn’t kill the mood to be considerate and pick up after yourself.

If you are sixty-nining, chariot fisting, pancake fisting (holes stacked on top of each other), or mixed breeding, caution has been thrown to the wind. Sharing lube and cross-contaminating holes is no longer a concern.

Rule #4: Use Lube Generously

Rule & Explanation

Prevent injury and discomfort by using copious amounts of lube.

For established tops and bottoms, this is a no brainer, but for virgin tops and novice tops, it bears repeating: you can rarely over-lubricate. Use the entire bottle as most lube is discarded after the session ends.

Seamless Implementation

The more lube, the piggier it gets. If a bottom asks for more lube, you have failed as a top.

Rule #5: Bring Your Own

Rule & Explanation

Don’t be a freeloader. Eliminate contamination. Use lube that won’t adversely affect one’s hole.

Bottoms should provide their own lube for safety reasons and consideration of costs to others. Contamination by sharing and elimination of allergens have already been discussed previously in this article. Chemical additives such as cannabis oil, benzocaine, or even illicit drugs for dubious can make their way into lubes, especially those not prepared by the bottom.

Seamless Implementation

Depending on your lube, time frame, and relationship with your play partner, have lube pre-mixed and ready to go in advance. If that isn’t possible, mix as soon as possible and use the time that it takes to set up to relax, chat, eliminate assumptions, and perform other carnal acts of depravity.

Training Suggestions: Gape Development

A novice associate asks:

My hole tightens up as soon as a guy pulls out his fist. Any toy recommendations or tips to loosen up my hole?

SG | Member Post | Facebook Group

Without further background information regarding SG, several assumptions were made in regards to the advice provided. These include the following:

  • Novice to moderate level abilities (the individual has taken fists at least a dozen times, if not more).
  • Budget, location, and relationship dynamics are not limiting factors on play or toy purchases.
  • The individual understands general fisting techniques and standards, including the appropriate application of lube.
  • Chems are not a factor and due to the frequency of play in the suggested advice, are strongly disadvised.

Tailored Response

There are several things to consider in response to this inquiry:

  • Genetics, Physical Limitations, and Natural Ability
  • Conditioning through Various Types of Play
  • Selection of the Appropriate Toys

Genetics, Physical Limitations, and Natural Ability

Part of this ability (to gape or remain open) is genetic, and part of this ability is conditioning. After completing the exercises and routines below for an extended period of time, you may discover that your hole just isn’t that type of hole.

Furthermore, there could be contributing factors to the closing up of a hole. For instance, I am allergic to clove, crisco, silicon, and PEO (the active ingredient in J-Lube, K-Lube, X-Lube, and Fist Lube). After a limited amount of play, it histaminic reaction occurs and my anal canal swells shut.

Previous injuries in the anal canal, such as fistulas, fissures, and piles could also contribute to your nervous system shutting down access to your hole.

If you have eliminated those physiological and anatomical factors, then it’s a matter of conditioning.

There are potentially five ways that may or may not work for you based on your genetics and extenuating circumstances. I will list them in the order to try:

Conditioning through Various Types of Play

You may want to integrate all five of the following strategies into your conditioning routines:

Routine #1: Conditioning the Rectum with Large Dildos

This process assumes that the pressure sensors above and below the third transverse fold of the rectum, specifically called Kohlrausch’s valve, are sending signals to your involuntary, Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) to expel or retain rectal contents.

Playing with larger and longer dildos desensitizes the parasympathetic system controlling the sphincters and voluntary muscles of the pelvic girdle. Based on experience level, you may have to start small and work up to larger dildos. The ideal dildo for this activity should be between 20 and 25 cm long (8 to 10 inches) and moderately smaller than the width of the fattest part of your hand–at least 19 cm in circumference (7.5 inches). Daily play that involves fucking yourself to the base with this dildo will modify the fold and affect how your brain processes signals in the upper rectum.

Note that it takes about a week of every-other-day toy play to move up a quarter of an inch in girth.

Routine #2: Developing Stamina with Large Plug Endurance Activities

After you have conditioned the deeper section of the rectum with large dildos, you can condition the lower rectum and anal canal. This is accomplished by conditioning your anal canal and rectal ampulla to comfortably retain large masses (such as a fist) without triggering expulsion.

Plugs used in this activity should be between 15 and 18 cm (6 to 7 inches) and start at a circumference of 20 cm (8 inches).

Insert the plug. Initially, it should cause some discomfort due to size–if no discomfort is felt, move to a larger size. Keep the plug in your hole three minutes, using poppers if needed. Once you keep it there without poppers for that duration, increase the time inside your hole to 5 minutes, then 7 minutes, and finally 15 minutes. After successfully keeping the plug in for 15 minutes without poppers, increase the size of the plug by 1 cm (1/2 inch) and start again at three minutes.

Routine #3: Discovering Triggers and Documenting Road Maps with a Top

Congratulations on graduating to play with an actual human. Now it is time to unlock your secrets and discover fisting activities that trigger opening and gape.

Your Top should play around with entry procedures. He will need to vary the angle of entry or even the type of movement (such as a gradual twist) in order to determine what makes your hole relaxed and happy. This activity focuses on the voluntary muscles of the first ring (the levator ani and the external sphincter). Apart from conditioning them to accept paws readily, his work should determine the easiest way to open your hole. Document his findings in your personal roadmap to share with others in the future.

Routine #4: Punching to Exhaustion

Sometimes, just fatiguing the muscle (wearing it out) to complete exhaustion will cause it to relax and stay open. This should not be alarming, as the body has a built-in reflex that causes muscle relaxation in order to prevent injury. This reflex doesn’t typically occur in the hole because its natural state is always tonic (contracted or tight) except during defecation. Moderation is important though. A wrecked hole is a sign from your body to take it easy and allow some recovery.

Routine #5: Popping Repeatedly with Specialized Toys

Since daily or every-other-day play partners are not common, you can replicate punching by pummeling your hole with your specialized dildos and plugs for at least 15 minutes a day (or to your first anal orgasm–whichever comes first). ‘Popping’ refers to inserting the plug and extracting it immediately–causing a pop.

Dildos without bulbs (or knots) are inappropriate for this activity, as you are intentionally stressing the voluntary muscles of the first ring. A cylindrical object such as a cock, a dildo, or feces do not trigger the appropriate stress level. As with Routines #1 and #2, you will need to gradually increase the size of your popping toy.

Avoiding Injury

As a reminder, like any workout, you should always start with a warmup set using a warmup toy to prevent injury.

Selection of Appropriate Toys

Toy selection is a very personal and by nature opinionated process. There are some basic principles in toy selection and I’ll cover those basic minimally and leave detailed explanations of these principles to another post:

  • Budget. Novice fisters who aren’t committed to a life of fisting may want to stick with cheaper toys until they determine if fisting is right for them. My go to vendor during this stage of development was
  • Health. Anything other than silicon is cancerous and toxic over time. If it burns, discard it. To understand toy safety without any sugar-coating, I always refer to
  • Sampling/Sharing. I typically won’t buy a toy unless a friend recommends it and allows me take his on a test run. Toy swaps at fisting events such as FistFest Weekends and Regur’s Rose Bowl are very helpful.
  • Shapes. For novice fisters, I typically suggest avoid hand-shaped dildos. Scott from Squarepeg Toys goes further and doesn’t recomend phallic dildos for fisting training. I personally like some of the slender dicks dildos for initial fisting training.

Plug Recommendations

I’ve always been opposed to pyramid-shaped plugs, although HungerFF has indicated that his initial ass training involved the AssMaster or AssServant from Doc Johnson. Keep in mind he started back when good, silicone options were not available. Some guys like the brutality of this toy set–due to cancer and firmness, it’s not for me.

In a recent toy share, I became a big fan of the GAPE KEEPER and GRIP from The soft nature of these toys provides a pop without micro-tearing (assuming you are sizing your toys correctly).

Squarepeg offers the EGG as long as you start with the XL. They also have the ACORN (which is great for long-term wear) and the Splitter which challenges most guys. I personally use the SPLITTER XXXL to do the training exercises above, but I’ve been taking doubles for many years–so it’s the only toy that challenges me.

Dildo Recommendations

For upper rectal training, I suggest reading the Fisting Primer at Scott and Brue are invaluable resources and their learning center is top tier. Like I mentioned previously, Scott and I disagree on phallic like toys for fisting training, but that disagreement is likely due to my ignorance and preferences. His toys are designed to not cause injury.

In the Squarepeg line, I really like largest MEL, DIRK, and LEO toys. I also like the LONGNECK and STAMEN (which also works for Popping exercises). For the routines mentioned above, do not get the SLINK. It is a nice toy, but not effective in the conditioning exercises mentioned above.

From Hankey’s Toys, almost any phallic toy will do. You will need to choose the 75% Soft firmness, and you probably should start with medium to large size toys depending on your your skill level. Even though it is no longer a challenge, I use the CAN-OPENER almost daily. Its taper is awesome and its girth at the base is larger than a fist. I’ve also got some super hot stories about joint training sessions with this toy.

My final dildo recommendation is the toy that initiated me into extreme anal play. I played with this toy for almost two years before I even thought about fisting and still use it regularly. It is made by Doc Johnson, and it is not available in silicon, so I replace it every other year. I like it that much. It is the John Holmes. It is ideal for almost any beginner or pro alike.

Ring Poppers Recommendations

Since I don’t do a lot of ring pop play with my hole, this is the weakest area I have for recommendations. There are toys from previously mentioned vendors (such as Squarepeg’s ACORN and STAMEN) that are helpful for this. I’m certain they have many other ring popping toys. GRIP from Topped Toys is also good in this area.

My Go To is again from Doc Johnson, and requires replacement every other year. The TANGO from their American Bombshell line has three bulbs that cause me to piss when used in a certain manner. It is a good replicator of punch fisting.

Atypical Advice For Those Starting to Take Fists

Those new to fisting often seek advice for newbies on one of the forums online (Facebook or Asspig). To me, the most common advice provided is useless:

Breathe and use lots of lube!


Let’s start with the lube. While ‘lots of lube!’ is somewhat helpful, it doesn’t really provide the details necessary for those new to the sport. Most lubes on the market are not suitable for fisting. New guys don’t inherently know this and often attempt fisting with traditional water-based glycerine lubes (like Wet, Astroglide, etc.) or silicone lube.

My advice for lubrication is to seek out a versatile fister for your first few experiences and politely ask if he would be willing to provide the lube for your a few sessions until you figure out which lube is best for you. Note that this should be temporary. Sharing lube, or relying on others for lube, goes against most health protocols and fisting etiquette (see On the Road Again (Travel)); however, most guys are willing to help a new guy out for his first two or three sessions.

The additional advantage of hooking up with a versatile fister for your first few experiences is that your partner will know exactly what ‘copious amounts of lube’ means and will make sure your hole is properly saturated.


Your autonomic nervous system controls your natural breathing. You will breathe regardless of what your partner tells you. I’ve never seen any actual examples–nor heard of any anecdotes–of bottoms passing out due to lack of breath when fisting. The nearly ubiquitous advice given ‘to breathe’ is due to the awkward respiration patterns immediately after a fist pops into your hole.

I often compare this breathing advice to another piece of pointless advice:

Don’t think of Pink Elephants.

Once you’ve been told to not think of pink elephants, you will. What was not a problem is now a problem. Once you’ve been told to breathe, you will attempt to regulate a system that will self-regulate. Your forced efforts can hamper that regulation and make fisting more difficult because your breathing is forcing your body out of its homeostatic desires.

What your partner is really trying to say is ‘relax and center yourself’.

Focus on meditation instead. Think about your body and focus on the signals you are receiving from your brain.

On a final note, if you are hyperventilating (which is rare), breathe slower and deeper. If you are holding your breath, meditate.

Other Tips for First Fists

These are the pieces of advice I provide:

  1. Start practicing yoga. It will teach you how to meditate.
  2. Start a meditation practice daily for 5 to 10 minutes. When fisting, borrow that skill.
  3. Stretch your hole daily in the shower using the Big Ben method for a month straight.
  4. Forget about what you see in porn. There is no market for fisting titles such as ‘Meditate Through It’ and ‘Homeostatic Fisting’ – that shit is boring. Once you’ve mastered the basics, then you can try to imitate what you see in porn.

Roles, Positions, & Techniques

Part III – Techniques

Note: Parts I and II of this series discuss fisting roles and positions. (They haven’t been published yet because they are awaiting editorial review).

There are many ways to skin a cat and probably just as many ways to fist a hole.

Traditional, Width, Depth, and Punch are the four generalized categories to which the following techniques apply.

Each of the following techniques will be discussed separately in individual posts. If you want the full list with descriptions, this PDF document briefly discusses each technique.

Traditional Techniques

  • The Dildo
  • The Earthquake
  • The Big Ben
  • The Ruminator / Butter Churn
  • The Bloomer / Extractor
  • The Urinator
  • The P Spot
  • The Piston / Pummel
  • The Melon Baller
  • The Alternator

Punch Techniques

  • The Goose Punch
  • The Boxer

Depth Techniques

  • The Zero-to-Sixty
  • The Wanderer / Crawl
  • The Bull & China Shop

Width (Girth) Techniques

  • The Jack-in-the-Box
  • The Antlers
  • The Knotty Boy
  • The Double
  • The Partial Double
  • The Triple
  • The Handshake
  • The Safe Cracker

Additionally, there are some bad techniques that are typical when fisting beyond your experience level. These will be discussed in a later post.

On a final note, some fisters advocate for two additional categories of Speed and Endurance to be included with Width, Depth, Punch and Traditional. Since velocity and duration could be applied to any of the four main categories they were not considered part if this discussion.

Wrecked Hole & Endurance Marathons

This week, an online acquaintance asked:

Expert help needed!!

Have any of you guys tried, that after a couple of hours with good ffun, your hole suddenly simply shuts down, being so tight that not even a finger can go in? 

Happens all the time, and it’s so damn frustrating

Let me first start with a couple of caveats:

  • I’m an introvert and a couple of hours of sex to me (especially as the only bottom) just seems taxing, to say the least. I do play longer, but I’m worn out mentally and physically afterward.
  • My ass was never built for an endurance marathon. I’ve tried building up stamina with various training routines to no avail. This is likely related to the extreme stress on my guts due to really deep insertion. I’m also mildly allergic to most lubes.

With that in mind, here are the seven suggestions I provided to help him last longer during his sessions:

You may want to alter these aspects of your fisting sessions: punch fisting routines, warmup duration, hand size, lubrication, lubrication temperature, popper usage, and pre-fisting douche routines.

  1. Punching an untrained hole causes swelling in tissues. Although the epithelial (skin) tissue is avascular (no vessels), there is a ton of underlying tissue that is highly vascularized to help your butt prevent the free flow of gas and liquid when you aren’t in the loo. Once those vascularized tissues swell, you are toast. As another guy put it–you’ve hit the wall.
    • Resolution: There are two things you can do here. First, limit the intensity. This means decreasing the duration of punching, the speed at which they are given, and the roughness of the penetration. Your top is irritating the tissues and that results in inflammation and swelling. Second, save the punching until the end of the session.
  2. Modify your warm-up time. I personally prefer less than two minutes of warm-up. The poking and prodding both tend to irritate my anal canal; however, I’m in the minority. Most men like a good warm-up. The routine needs to be solid though. Again, haphazard poking and prodding do nothing to prepare your hole for the brutality you are about to subject it to.
  3. Resolution: Make sure your top is doing the Big Ben on your anal canal. The Big Ben involves using both hands during the warm-up. Novice holes should start with four fingers (two on each hand) completely inserted into the hole. Palms are placed outward so that the fingers are knuckle to knuckle. The top should then press outward in opposite directions for a 20-second count. After 20 seconds, he should rotate 45 degrees and repeat. The outward press lasts another 20 seconds. Repeat this process moving 45 degrees each set until you make a full clockwise rotation of stretches. Have him complete the task with finesse. He is not the HULK going to town on your hole at this point of your session.
  4. Speaking of the HULK, the size of the hand is relevant. Large paws require more caressing and less aggression.
  5. Resolution: Seek smaller hands to help build up duration. Alternatively, if your playmate has large paws, have him set up camp inside your rectum (all the way through the anal canal). Once he’s there, keep him there. Let him explore the terrain without extracting his hand from your ass.
  6. Overdependence on poppers to open your hole indicates you haven’t done the slow methodical training. You will tire sooner rather than later once the effectiveness of the vasodilation is null due to maximum saturation.
  7. 4) my hole shuts up after ice, but it does like really cold lube and really warm lube. Speaking of lube, use more. Preferably a polymer based lube Like x, j, k, xanthan. If you like Crisco, apply it first during your stretch routine. It needs to be whipped or easy to spread so you aren’t tearing tissue while you wait for it to melt. If you do use ice, coat with lube first. Remember the skin tissue in your hole is the same that’s in your throat.
  8. 5) Douche with a stainless Steel or polished nickel nozzle. Something metal. Use silicon lube in shower on nozzle. Decrease water pressure. You may be taxing your butt before you play.
  9. 6) You are not punchpanda, skyporter, punch93, or any of the twitter punch gods. Those boys trained their holes extensively over a long period of time.
  10. 7) You may be allergic to the lube you use. Try something else

Major Toy Vendors and Their Niches

A recent post on FFreshmen or Fantastic FFriends asked about toys. This post is derived from my response there.

There are several vendors in the toy market, each with a different niche. If you are using toys for fist training, here’s how their niches correlate to your play.

Hankey’s Toys


Until recently, Hankey’s toys were primarily dominated by the realistic, yet supersized, cock and ball motif (with a few exceptions). Visually, a supersized cock pummeling your hole has a different psychological appeal than a non-descript chunk of silicone sliding in and out of your butt. This is their strength.

Recently, they’ve added a fantasy line to break into the Bad Dragon fan base.

Suitability for Training & Play

For depth and girth training, I personally prefer smoother textures that aren’t going to increase the risk of injury by catching onto something it shouldn’t. The realistic line meets that need. The fantasy line textures are fine if you prefer a ‘wrecked’ and sore hole, especially around the anal canal, which is the only place that can feel the texture.

Bad Dragon


Bad Dragon toys are almost exclusively fantasy toys for furries and guys with a little taboo sprinkled into their mindset. Wanna get fucked by a dragon, stallion, or a werewolf, this is your toy. As a fantasy toy line, texture becomes a major design feature. This is their strength.

Suitability for Training & Play

Again–for depth and girth training, I personally prefer smoother textures that aren’t going to increase the risk of injury by catching onto something it shouldn’t. Playing with these heavily-textured toys should is great for stimulation of the anal canal but not depth.

However, I’ve found that the flare on their largest horse cock model is helpful with depth training. The flare creates a vacuum and extracts the stretched and extended rectum and sigmoid back into the lower pelvic cavity.

Square Peg Toys


Squarepeg toys are ergonomically shaped and in my opinion, the best toys for training for depth, width, or punch. I’m in total admiration of its creator for the thoughtfulness of the design for many of the toys. Additionally, the Square Peg blog and staff are really helpful in finding a toy that meets your specific training needs. If realism gets you off, they do have some cock and ball creations to supplement your ergonomic toy chest.

Suitability for Training & Play

Due to their design, the risk of injury is likely the lowest of all major toy vendors. For deep play, these toys are great as they focus on shapes that are similar to the bulk and girth of fists. I can’t sing their praises enough. For girth, the plugs are designed to accommodate human anatomy without the texture that typically wears a hole out.

Doc Johnson


Doc Johnson does a lot of beginner and novelty toys. Products are generally inexpensive for those just getting into toy play or fisting.

Suitability for Training & Play

With the exception of three toys (John Holmes, Hung, and any 18 to 24 inch double header), the toys with this collection are really just novelty plastic shaped dicks and plugs. I used their Rambone to build my depth, but honestly, Rambone is responsible for a lot of fisting accidents and I no longer recommend it. Many girth players I know used the Ass Servant or Ass Master to widen their holes, but the shape is really not compatible with safe play. Newer vendors have toys that replace those two toys.

Topped Toys


This is a new vendor on the market with only a few models at present. The size and design make any hole pig curious to buy. I will say, my favorite porn star, Nate Grimes, has some awesome video with these things. The girth on the original model gave me high hopes that this line would focus on the ass instead of the novelty. Time will tell which path they take in the future. 

Suitability for Training & Play

I’ve yet to expereince these toys, so I can’t offer full feedback; however, the videos I’ve seen tend to indicate these toys are your best bet for punch training. 



This is a European toy vendor and to me, the design on their main line is very industrial, very ‘German’ if you will (even though London is home for this toy manufacturer). The size, shape, and design evoke many feelings of hedonistic pleasure. A new silicon line will hopefully permeate their entire collection within the next few years.   

Suitability for Training & Play

I only own their biggest toy, and my eyes were bigger than my hole when I purchased it, so I only play with it when I’m really feeling deeply piggy. The material is Phalate Free plastic (again, I’m hoping the silicon replaces the plastic soon in most of their toys). The firmness can be a limiting factor on their mega toys, but my Welsh friend swears by their toy line night and day. I’ll take his word that the smaller toys are helpful for training your hole. 

Other Vendors

There is one manufacturer and one vendor I didn’t mention here. Their toys melt or are full of cancer leaching agents. While one claims to be innovative, I see it as a pig in lipstick. The other doesn’t really consider anal toy play in their design or materials.

Ten Tips About Depth Cleanouts

An elbow-depth bottom writes:

What is your opinion about laxatives? I fast for thirty hours prior to a session. This includes taking laxatives about twenty-four hours out.

I have a brief write-up about laxatives and cleaning out on the Art & Science of Fisting pages here (Fist Club version 2.019). An even more extensive look into cleaning out is coming soon with the new University (Fist Club version 2.020). Apart from the use of a fiber supplement (which is actually a type of laxative), here are my thoughts:

1. Avoid laxatives and fasting if possible. Both should be a last resort for regular fisting play within a home. They may be employed for extended fisting events or fisting parties at locations without touch-up facilities. Even then, it’s often more important to keep calories and body systems in homeostasis then to starve for a spotless hole, especially if alcohol or pot is in use.

2. Don’t worry about shitting in the shower. For depth fisters, toilets are so 1776.

Fun Fact: Thomas Crapper didn’t invent the flush toilet. The first toilet became available around 1775, shortly after the Boston Tea Party (caffeine is a laxative), but before George Washington crossed the Delaware to find a Starbucks with an unlocked bathroom.

3. Start by diet modification. Natural fibers, zinc supplements, the B.R.A.T. diet for off-site events, and counter-intuitively: CORN. Use corn scientifically to figure out how different foods linger inside your digestive system. Keep in mind first in, first out when conducting your study.

Image result for glass of water

4. Drink more water. The large intestine soaks about a liter of water out of the chyme inside it every day. More water means more manageable stool.

5. Change up your douche habits. Again, go about this scientifically. Experiment with different pressures (higher/lower), nozzles (long/short, metal/silicon, firm/flexible), positions (side, squat, hokey-pokey), and finally, methods & timing. Find what works best for your hole.

I recently changed my douche nozzle and it improved my cleanout times and successes. It also changed how my rings react to fluid inside me.

6. Eliminate douching for unnecessary reasons, especially for solo play. Your biome keeps fungal infections and STIs at bay–douching depletes the natural biome and allows the unnatural an easy foothold.

7. Incorporate long, flexible double-ended dildos into your douche routine. This trains your body to respond to stimuli and vacate. Use lube on both the toy and your douche hose so your anal canal isn’t overly irritated even before your first fist. Silicon and lipid-based lubes are best for the shower.

8. Take a hiatus from party drugs. If party drugs are on the plate, wean yourself off of them. They fuck with body systems. Reintroduce them only after you figure out your best cleanout routine. (BTW, I’m a sober fister and discourage harder chems during FF play, but also recognize the reality of this world and the intensity they bring to the circuit world).

9. Take Imodium only if needed. Save it for extended, multi-day sessions like M.A.L, Fist Fest, or Rosebowl.

Interestingly enough, the act of depth fisting usually triggers your intestine to enter ‘sleep mode’, working as a natural anti-diarrheal.

Image result for brown hanky photos

10. Change your attitude about shit. You don’t need to flag brown, but you don’t need to be sacrificing your health for the sake of never letting them see you shit.

This means a couple of things for all Fisters:

  • As a top, you should discretely deal with flotsam. Keep three or for sheets of paper towels at your feet so that you don’t have to make a scene about disposing of leftovers.
  • As a bottom, try your best to be clean, but don’t lose your shit if you lose your shit. If you can’t get clean 7 out of 10 sessions, then depth may not be for you.