Training Suggestions: Gape Development

A novice associate asks:

My hole tightens up as soon as a guy pulls out his fist. Any toy recommendations or tips to loosen up my hole?

SG | Member Post | FFister.com Facebook Group

Without further background information regarding SG, several assumptions were made in regards to the advice provided. These include the following:

  • Novice to moderate level abilities (the individual has taken fists at least a dozen times, if not more).
  • Budget, location, and relationship dynamics are not limiting factors on play or toy purchases.
  • The individual understands general fisting techniques and standards, including the appropriate application of lube.
  • Chems are not a factor and due to the frequency of play in the suggested advice, are strongly disadvised.

Tailored Response

There are several things to consider in response to this inquiry:

  • Genetics, Physical Limitations, and Natural Ability
  • Conditioning through Various Types of Play
  • Selection of the Appropriate Toys

Genetics, Physical Limitations, and Natural Ability

Part of this ability (to gape or remain open) is genetic, and part of this ability is conditioning. After completing the exercises and routines below for an extended period of time, you may discover that your hole just isn’t that type of hole.

Furthermore, there could be contributing factors to the closing up of a hole. For instance, I am allergic to clove, crisco, silicon, and PEO (the active ingredient in J-Lube, K-Lube, X-Lube, and Fist Lube). After a limited amount of play, it histaminic reaction occurs and my anal canal swells shut.

Previous injuries in the anal canal, such as fistulas, fissures, and piles could also contribute to your nervous system shutting down access to your hole.

If you have eliminated those physiological and anatomical factors, then it’s a matter of conditioning.

There are potentially five ways that may or may not work for you based on your genetics and extenuating circumstances. I will list them in the order to try:

Conditioning through Various Types of Play

You may want to integrate all five of the following strategies into your conditioning routines:

Routine #1: Conditioning the Rectum with Large Dildos

This process assumes that the pressure sensors above and below the third transverse fold of the rectum, specifically called Kohlrausch’s valve, are sending signals to your involuntary, Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) to expel or retain rectal contents.

Playing with larger and longer dildos desensitizes the parasympathetic system controlling the sphincters and voluntary muscles of the pelvic girdle. Based on experience level, you may have to start small and work up to larger dildos. The ideal dildo for this activity should be between 20 and 25 cm long (8 to 10 inches) and moderately smaller than the width of the fattest part of your hand–at least 19 cm in circumference (7.5 inches). Daily play that involves fucking yourself to the base with this dildo will modify the fold and affect how your brain processes signals in the upper rectum.

Note that it takes about a week of every-other-day toy play to move up a quarter of an inch in girth.

Routine #2: Developing Stamina with Large Plug Endurance Activities

After you have conditioned the deeper section of the rectum with large dildos, you can condition the lower rectum and anal canal. This is accomplished by conditioning your anal canal and rectal ampulla to comfortably retain large masses (such as a fist) without triggering expulsion.

Plugs used in this activity should be between 15 and 18 cm (6 to 7 inches) and start at a circumference of 20 cm (8 inches).

Insert the plug. Initially, it should cause some discomfort due to size–if no discomfort is felt, move to a larger size. Keep the plug in your hole three minutes, using poppers if needed. Once you keep it there without poppers for that duration, increase the time inside your hole to 5 minutes, then 7 minutes, and finally 15 minutes. After successfully keeping the plug in for 15 minutes without poppers, increase the size of the plug by 1 cm (1/2 inch) and start again at three minutes.

Routine #3: Discovering Triggers and Documenting Road Maps with a Top

Congratulations on graduating to play with an actual human. Now it is time to unlock your secrets and discover fisting activities that trigger opening and gape.

Your Top should play around with entry procedures. He will need to vary the angle of entry or even the type of movement (such as a gradual twist) in order to determine what makes your hole relaxed and happy. This activity focuses on the voluntary muscles of the first ring (the levator ani and the external sphincter). Apart from conditioning them to accept paws readily, his work should determine the easiest way to open your hole. Document his findings in your personal roadmap to share with others in the future.

Routine #4: Punching to Exhaustion

Sometimes, just fatiguing the muscle (wearing it out) to complete exhaustion will cause it to relax and stay open. This should not be alarming, as the body has a built-in reflex that causes muscle relaxation in order to prevent injury. This reflex doesn’t typically occur in the hole because its natural state is always tonic (contracted or tight) except during defecation. Moderation is important though. A wrecked hole is a sign from your body to take it easy and allow some recovery.

Routine #5: Popping Repeatedly with Specialized Toys

Since daily or every-other-day play partners are not common, you can replicate punching by pummeling your hole with your specialized dildos and plugs for at least 15 minutes a day (or to your first anal orgasm–whichever comes first). ‘Popping’ refers to inserting the plug and extracting it immediately–causing a pop.

Dildos without bulbs (or knots) are inappropriate for this activity, as you are intentionally stressing the voluntary muscles of the first ring. A cylindrical object such as a cock, a dildo, or feces do not trigger the appropriate stress level. As with Routines #1 and #2, you will need to gradually increase the size of your popping toy.

Avoiding Injury

As a reminder, like any workout, you should always start with a warmup set using a warmup toy to prevent injury.

Selection of Appropriate Toys

Toy selection is a very personal and by nature opinionated process. There are some basic principles in toy selection and I’ll cover those basic minimally and leave detailed explanations of these principles to another post:

  • Budget. Novice fisters who aren’t committed to a life of fisting may want to stick with cheaper toys until they determine if fisting is right for them. My go to vendor during this stage of development was www.dearlady.com.
  • Health. Anything other than silicon is cancerous and toxic over time. If it burns, discard it. To understand toy safety without any sugar-coating, I always refer to www.dangerouslilly.com.
  • Sampling/Sharing. I typically won’t buy a toy unless a friend recommends it and allows me take his on a test run. Toy swaps at fisting events such as FistFest Weekends and Regur’s Rose Bowl are very helpful.
  • Shapes. For novice fisters, I typically suggest avoid hand-shaped dildos. Scott from Squarepeg Toys goes further and doesn’t recomend phallic dildos for fisting training. I personally like some of the slender dicks dildos for initial fisting training.

Plug Recommendations

I’ve always been opposed to pyramid-shaped plugs, although HungerFF has indicated that his initial ass training involved the AssMaster or AssServant from Doc Johnson. Keep in mind he started back when good, silicone options were not available. Some guys like the brutality of this toy set–due to cancer and firmness, it’s not for me.

In a recent toy share, I became a big fan of the GAPE KEEPER and GRIP from www.toppedtoys.com. The soft nature of these toys provides a pop without micro-tearing (assuming you are sizing your toys correctly).

Squarepeg offers the EGG as long as you start with the XL. They also have the ACORN (which is great for long-term wear) and the Splitter which challenges most guys. I personally use the SPLITTER XXXL to do the training exercises above, but I’ve been taking doubles for many years–so it’s the only toy that challenges me.

Dildo Recommendations

For upper rectal training, I suggest reading the Fisting Primer at www.squarepegtoys.com. Scott and Brue are invaluable resources and their learning center is top tier. Like I mentioned previously, Scott and I disagree on phallic like toys for fisting training, but that disagreement is likely due to my ignorance and preferences. His toys are designed to not cause injury.

In the Squarepeg line, I really like largest MEL, DIRK, and LEO toys. I also like the LONGNECK and STAMEN (which also works for Popping exercises). For the routines mentioned above, do not get the SLINK. It is a nice toy, but not effective in the conditioning exercises mentioned above.

From Hankey’s Toys, almost any phallic toy will do. You will need to choose the 75% Soft firmness, and you probably should start with medium to large size toys depending on your your skill level. Even though it is no longer a challenge, I use the CAN-OPENER almost daily. Its taper is awesome and its girth at the base is larger than a fist. I’ve also got some super hot stories about joint training sessions with this toy.

My final dildo recommendation is the toy that initiated me into extreme anal play. I played with this toy for almost two years before I even thought about fisting and still use it regularly. It is made by Doc Johnson, and it is not available in silicon, so I replace it every other year. I like it that much. It is the John Holmes. It is ideal for almost any beginner or pro alike.

Ring Poppers Recommendations

Since I don’t do a lot of ring pop play with my hole, this is the weakest area I have for recommendations. There are toys from previously mentioned vendors (such as Squarepeg’s ACORN and STAMEN) that are helpful for this. I’m certain they have many other ring popping toys. GRIP from Topped Toys is also good in this area.

My Go To is again from Doc Johnson, and requires replacement every other year. The TANGO from their American Bombshell line has three bulbs that cause me to piss when used in a certain manner. It is a good replicator of punch fisting.

Roles, Positions, & Techniques

Part III – Techniques

Note: Parts I and II of this series discuss fisting roles and positions. (They haven’t been published yet because they are awaiting editorial review).

There are many ways to skin a cat and probably just as many ways to fist a hole.

Traditional, Width, Depth, and Punch are the four generalized categories to which the following techniques apply.

Each of the following techniques will be discussed separately in individual posts. If you want the full list with descriptions, this PDF document briefly discusses each technique.

Traditional Techniques

  • The Dildo
  • The Earthquake
  • The Big Ben
  • The Ruminator / Butter Churn
  • The Bloomer / Extractor
  • The Urinator
  • The P Spot
  • The Piston / Pummel
  • The Melon Baller
  • The Alternator

Punch Techniques

  • The Goose Punch
  • The Boxer

Depth Techniques

  • The Zero-to-Sixty
  • The Wanderer / Crawl
  • The Bull & China Shop

Width (Girth) Techniques

  • The Jack-in-the-Box
  • The Antlers
  • The Knotty Boy
  • The Double
  • The Partial Double
  • The Triple
  • The Handshake
  • The Safe Cracker

Additionally, there are some bad techniques that are typical when fisting beyond your experience level. These will be discussed in a later post.

On a final note, some fisters advocate for two additional categories of Speed and Endurance to be included with Width, Depth, Punch and Traditional. Since velocity and duration could be applied to any of the four main categories they were not considered part if this discussion.

Aching Hole? Try This…

This week, a friend wrote and said his hole hurt after a particularly aggressive fisting. He asked for remedies to help out and this is how I responded.

  1. Punch Fisting – If you were punch fisting and bruised your tailbone, you are going to have to wait it out for several months. Although I can’t offer any method of relief for this type of injury, I will suggest that you think back fondly of the abuse your hole took that day–every time you sit down.
  2. Width Fisting – If you were stretching the limits with a lengthy traditional session or an aggressive double fisting, try these things:
    • Soak in a hot/warm bath with Epson salt. My friend Jon Anderson introduced me to this method after a whirlwind fisting tour of New England and about 15 fists in my ass in a period of two days. It softened my achy hole up enough that I could pull off one more fisting in Maine to cross every New England state off my fist map.
    • Try Prep H around the hole, in the peri area, and just inside the hole. Do this for about two days to cause the blood vessels to return to normal.
    • Geaux Louisiana-style all over your butt. Boudreaux’s Butt Paste is a staple for literal biological parents and their babies in the State of Louisiana. I’ve used it on occasion around the peri area after feeling some discomfort, but I don’t know if it will solve your problems. My kinky Louisiana friends into spanking swear by this cream.
    • Hemp Out! CBD lotions and oils tend to have a calming effect. Give them a try. I’ve heard of something called PDQ (Pretty Darn Quick) on the Facebook pages (FFreshmen and FFantastic Friends), but haven’t used it in person. Word on the street is it burns momentarily but works miracles.
    • Rely on the staples: numbing Cremes like Aspercreme, Benzocaine, and Lidocaine are used by the masters like HungerFF and Chris Wyldeman. I’ve dabbled in these because I freak out after reading the label that says “External Use Only.” At Fist Fest and Rose Bowl, I’ve seen guys add this stuff to their lube to help them take their 73rd fist of the weekend.
    • Get into oral! Try pain killers such as Advil and Motrin (Ibuprofin) to decrease inflammation and swelling. You might hear from a few fisters that Ibuprofin makes your blood thin, increasing your minor pinkness during fisting, but I personally haven’t seen that.
  3. Depth Fisting – If you are in pain after depth fisting which involved a lot of pistoning and oscillating, first, monitor your temperature and your gas. If your temperature rises or you aren’t passing gas, then you may have done some injury and need to seek immediate attention. If it’s just your gut hurting after a deep fisting, you probably bruised your kidney, spleen, pancreas or in my case, your Adam’s Apple.